And we are watching it in Reverse?
Just like how River’s story is
When she got her memory back she seemed like she remembered him
WHAT IF SHE HAS ALREADY TRAVELLED WITH THE DOCTOR AND THAT WAS HER END IN HER TIMELINE?
Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end. But not always in that order.
It’s the worst feeling ever, for fucks sake. People always tell me ‘what are you so scared of? whats the worst they can do?’
It’s not what they can do to me, its how they make me feel.
I dont know why it happens. I dont choose to hyperventilate and act like a crazy exagerated drama queen, when I’m confronted with this. It’s emberassing, I cant even read, hear or say the word without wanting to cry.
Remember on a clock work orange, when after doing the ludovico technique on alex, how he reacted when listening to that certain beethoven song? That’s how I feel, like I just want to snuff it.
I get filled with anxiety, just this mental pain, if you will.
This urge of getting rid of myself, this huge desperation filling up inside of me along with headache and nausea.
Wanting to overcome the feeling, but no matter how hard I try, I can never get the image out of my head, it even lasts for days, gives me nightmares. I get paranoid.
I’m sorry if I sound crazy, I’ve never told anyone this before, they just usually let me be when I have an ”episode”. So…